A Letter abt Passion n Understanding

I wonder if U hv ever experienced this. One fine day in Ur life, Affinity presents to U a sudden opportunity to be with a supposedly Mr/Ms Right, then U both click together, start to date v often, n in Ur hearts U both desire to be with each other even more, its like Ur hearts r set aflame with a seemingly Unstoppable and Undeniable flame of Passion, emotions build up endlessly n room for reason lessens n lessens, things raced n all looks like a fairytale come true, U 2 become the happiest person in the world n before long U r holding each other's hands, cuddling n hv become what is known as a Couple. U wish this will last forever, U believe tt this is it, U found the love of Ur lifetime. Congratulations.

But as time goes by, U start to realize tt theres something more to tt partner tt Affinity brought to U, he/she seems to spend lesser time with U, the honey sweet words lessen, Ur talktime with each other lessens n U all talk less frequently to each other, the fire starts to fade, the passion seems to diminish, n all of sudden U wonder who is this person holding Ur hand, did U ever reli noe this person. N all of sudden U ask where did the love go, will it ever return, or will it fade away more n more into nothingness, U doubt tt U can sustain tt relationship, U doubt tt he/she will still be able to accept U, uncertainty n fear sets in, n the world suddenly becomes so cold n dark n U r lost in tt darkness feeling meaningless, losing purpose, losing direction, losing what U once upon a time called "Love".

(This may not exactly apply to every1, but more or less it is somehow close to what I believe many ppl r feeling. But if it doesn apply to U at all, then U may just read something else, or U may just wish to take this as leisure reading, its all up to U.)

What happened? Why... Why? Wasn he/she the one? How did the love end up like this way? Its so unfair. U only wanted to love n be loved, whats wrong with tt. All these words run through Ur mind as Ur sorrow n dissappointment compounds n compounds til they roll down Ur cheeks as tears. N yet despite all tt great emotions, U still cannot tell what reli happened.

I reli wish I can give U an answer, but I reli cant. Cos Ur problem is specific to U only. Yet there r only 2 key questions I can ask U, n I urge U to carefully n thoughtfully consider Ur answer.

What is Love to U? Did U reli reli ever love him/her?
Do U noe who U fell in love with? Do U reli understand him/her?

Mr Love is in 1 way like the Mr Market (introduced by Benjamin Graham in the Investing world, but as this letter is abt relationships, I shall not elaborate on Mr Market), Mr Love is erractic n unpredictable n irrational in the Short Term, having the tendency to "mispriced" the value of a relationship (probably quoting a value v much higher or v much lower than the relationship's actual potential). However, Mr Love is actually a v rational character in the long term, the relationship's value will consequently tend towards its actual potential (seemingly dull ppl suddenly become recognized for the how safe they can be, seemingly ordinary couples become capable of sustaining a lasting relationship, seemingly "Star" couples suddenly break up)
I wld choose this concept to explain y relationships can start out as large flames, but then later turns to become calm waters, n may even turn into frozen icebergs when not properly handled. Another way I wld like to describe this is tt when efforts r not put into turning a dream relationship into a real love relationship, then eventually the dream ends n a reality of losing tt dream sets in.

Then U ask, what is the reality? I may not hv the best answer, but the best of my answers tt I can give is "Passion will eventually fade n weakened, but in the end of the day, it is understanding n commitment tt stands the test of time."

The ultimate principle I like to share in this article is this, tt "it is better to hv real mutual understanding than to hv mutual passion for each other alone."
The key question I must raise is simply related how deep is Ur understanding of Ur partner n how deep is Ur partner's understanding for U, then after tt how r U n Ur partner's acceptance for each other.
Ur love with Ur partner has to include a Deep Understanding tt is powerful enough to naturally bring abt Mutual Trust.
This Love also requires an Initiative of Commitment, if passion is the fire, then commitment is the firewood, how can U keep the flames burning if U do not add in more firewood.

Of cos, U can argue tt yes U can understand each other today, but what if in future both of U change. Yes I agree. But let me ask U back in return, what is the future made of? If U cherish every "Present", aren U working towards building a greater future?
U may say easier said then done, yes I agree. Nothing in this world is reli easy to accomplish, "For every Prestige tt results from a Turn, requires a pledge." Every feat accomplished in this world needs a price to be paid. The Pledge or the price U hv to pay for Ur relationship is Commitment. Without this Pledge, it is almost impossible for any Magic to come out of tt relationship.

I do not propose tt Firm Trust Resulting From Deep Mutual Understanding and Commitment are the elements tt form the Holy Grail to solve all Ur relationship problems, but I m emphasizing tt they r necessary.

Indeed U hv alredi noe all these, these is nothing new. But nx time when U think U understand Ur partner, how abt asking Urself if U r able to trust Ur partner as a result of this understanding, and is the understanding mutual?
The nx time when U feel tt the fires of Ur love is fading away, how abt checking with Urself if U hv been adding firewood (commitment).