A Letter abt how can U talk to some1 U love

"U r not listening!" Familiar line U may hv heard b4 rite? "U dun understand..." now tts another familiar line right? But what is all this abt, U wonder...

How can U trust him/her? Well, I believe tts based on how much U understand him/her. How can U undertand him/her? Well, tts based on how effective U both communicate with each other. So how do U effectively communicate? Brilliant question, n tts what I will talking abt in this entry.

Now Trust cannot be built without Understanding, n Understanding can never happened unless ideas r carry forth to each other clearly, Communicated Effectively.

The main Principle tt guides this effective communication is this
"From my point of view, its reli not abt me, its reli abt U, I wan to noe more n more abt U."
This principle is simply build on love. Isn it true tt when U love some1, U wan to noe more n more abt tt person? So perhaps nx time when U r talking with Ur partner, U may wanna just take note of whether r U asking abt Ur partner more often or simply talking abt Urself more often. N if U keep talking abt Urself, when maybe someday U may just hear this line "U r not listening!" Dun get me wrong, this no threat, this is a proven truth, in all my letters I nv ask of any1 to believe or agree with me, U r the leader of Ur life n U can discern for Urself what to believe n what not to believe :)

To practise this principle, I recommend the following process,

Step 1: Pay full attention

Well U r talking to some1 tt U love rite? Some1 impt to U rite? So ignore Ur mobile, put down Ur newspaper, stop looking at Ur desktop/laptop monitor, stop looking at Ur mirror, n just pay full attention to Ur partner. Tts being there for him/her.

Step 2: Listen

Yup Listen, tts just it, sounds ez rite, well reli how many ppl can do this well. Tts becos when U r listening, U shd reli Stop Talking n just Listen.

Step 3: look at the discussed topic from the partners point of view, then look at it from all possible angles.

This can be hard, but if U find it too difficult to cover all angles as it takes alot of Objectivity n Thoughtfulness, then at least be able to put Urself into his/her shoes n look at things from his/her position.

Step 4: Empathize n Understand

Step 3 reli paves the way to developing empathy. N from there U can Understand how does Ur partner thinks n feels. However, wait wait, U dun stop there n say "I understand, but..." Owww come on, what do U mean when U say tt U understand but n then U start shooting all Ur opinions like a machine gun. Nooo, dun do tt, tts not called real understanding. Tts called using the word "understand" to stop listening n start yapping way. True Understanding shd lead U to nx step.

Step 5: Respect n Accept

Yes, respect Ur partner's opinions n decisions n accept he/her for who she is, but wait, I m not saying tt U must agree. U can disagree, but Ur partner has the equal right to think n act the way he/she wants as long as tt does not take away tt same right of urs. Every1 has their own free will, so we all hv to Respect n Accept tt fact.

Amidst this process, U must seek to discern if Ur partner reli wants a solution from U, or does Ur partner simply just wans some1 to listen to him/her. If he/she reli wans Ur suggestion or solution, he/she will ask U for tt naturally when he/she feels tt he/she has said enough. If he/she jus wans a listener, then let me teach U a trick, tt by going through this process with Ur partner, U r actually helping him/her to Crystallize his/her thoughts n yup sometimes he/she will come out with the answer even without U having to squeeze Ur brain to come out with it. N yup he/she will feel much better after sharing his/her thoughts n feelings.

From this effective communication, U can develop a deep understanding for Ur partner, from which firm trust can be built upon.

Every1 in this world needs an audience, r U willing to be the audience of Ur love ones? (note the contents of this letter does not just merely apply to a love relationship, it also applies to family relationships, frenship n all relationships U treasure in Ur life.)