Ever heard this line, "oh darling, we dun reli hv to be bother so much abt Xmas/NY Eve/Vday, everyday we hv together is special."
Now tt sounds gd rite. But what if, during festive seasons Ur partner reli doesn bother, he/she did not prepare a gift, nv planned an outing, n most imptly doesn seem v enthusiastic abt passing the day with U.
Yes, being together with a love one makes everyday special, but how many ppl reli mean it? But rather are there more ppl in this world who use this more like an excuse for their lack of effort?
My Questions for such ppl are
"The Festive Season hv given U a golden opportunity for having a special day with Ur love one, but if U cant even put in the effort capitalize on this opportunity given, then do U think it is any easier or it takes lesser effort to make a special day out of any normal day?"
"If U believe tt U can make special days out of normal days for Ur love one, then why would U not make a special day even more special for Ur love one?"
If U reli love Ur partner, dun U wan to do all U can to contribute to his/her happiness everyday? If not, then what r U reli doing for Ur partner?
Isn Love also abt doing more n more of what U can for Ur love one? If not, then what is it abt?
Aha this letter sounds v idealistic doesn it, but do rememeber tt in this letter I m not talking abt what U "can" do for Ur love one, but I m talking abt what U "want" to do for Ur love one and abt Ur "sincerity" and "efforts" to "try" make tt come true. I m not talking abt being able to do something for Ur love one, but I m talking abt "putting in Ur best to try" to do something for Ur love one.
This letter shall end with no more elaboration but seeks to offer questions which I reli urge the reader to carefully reflect upon with thorough honesty with himself/herself. If there must be a conclusion to this letter, then let me ask 1 more question "life is short, how much time can one spend with his/her love one and how much time does he/she hv to do anything for his/her love one?"
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
A Letter abt "Love is 35%,35%,30" "WHAT IS THAT!?" part 2
So...after reading part 1.. Now U feel helpless, U feel tt Love is so uncontrollable, it doesn even mean tt when U hv done Ur best, U will be justly rewarded. U feel that Ur life is spun out of Ur hands, U feel tt the power of Ur decisions hv weakened, U feel tt Ur abilities hv become limited.
What Happened!?
I may hv an explanation for U. N tt is "Well, U r not doing Ur report or Ur project nor r U in any business deal, U r in Love." Yup U r in Love n Love is a v intimate kind of Relationship. It brings 2 ppl to become 1 pair. BUT U r still U, Ur partner is still Ur Partner. A Relationship is not meant to destroy the Individuality of both parties. In fact a Healthy Love Relationship shd Compliment tt Individuality n tt Individuality shd in return build up the Relationship. N for healthy Individuality to come true, there is a need for Freedom (Free Will). Yup U hv Ur free will to choose N Ur Partner has tt equal right too.
It takes 2 to dance, n it takes free will to dance beautifully. U wld not wan to dance with a puppet wld U, what meaning is there?
So U ask y cant U do more than 35%? Well, then let me ask U,
"If U do more than 35%, aren U burdening Urself with what U shd not be burdening Urself with? Is tt fair to U?"
"IF U do more than 35%, aren U also taking some % from Ur partner, n since Ur partner's 35% includes his/her Free Will Of Choice, aren U also at the same time, taking away his/her Freedom to Choose?"
So what now? R U still feeling just as helpless despite after reading all tt. I wld, until I hv understood something n I wld like to recommend this to U.
"Do Ur best to dance Ur 35%, n then just Let Go."
Yes do Ur best n let go of the remaining. Besides can U actually ensure tt U perfectly score tt 35% of Urs? Can U reli do tt, r U so perfect? If U cant even do Ur part perfectly well, then do U think U shd meddle with the part of Ur Partner n the part of Affinity? Then y not channel Ur energy n focus on doing Ur 35% to Ur best. N just let Ur Partner hv some free space to play his/her part n let Affinity hv its room to do its magic. Dun get me wrong, I m not telling U to "heck care" abt Ur Partner n abt Affinity, but I telling U to FOCUS on playing Ur part with Ur best n give room to Ur Partner n Affinity to play their parts.
Be fair to Urself, dun overstretch n overburden n exhaust Urself. Be fair to Ur partner, give him/her the floor space which he/she needs to dance.
What Happened!?
I may hv an explanation for U. N tt is "Well, U r not doing Ur report or Ur project nor r U in any business deal, U r in Love." Yup U r in Love n Love is a v intimate kind of Relationship. It brings 2 ppl to become 1 pair. BUT U r still U, Ur partner is still Ur Partner. A Relationship is not meant to destroy the Individuality of both parties. In fact a Healthy Love Relationship shd Compliment tt Individuality n tt Individuality shd in return build up the Relationship. N for healthy Individuality to come true, there is a need for Freedom (Free Will). Yup U hv Ur free will to choose N Ur Partner has tt equal right too.
It takes 2 to dance, n it takes free will to dance beautifully. U wld not wan to dance with a puppet wld U, what meaning is there?
So U ask y cant U do more than 35%? Well, then let me ask U,
"If U do more than 35%, aren U burdening Urself with what U shd not be burdening Urself with? Is tt fair to U?"
"IF U do more than 35%, aren U also taking some % from Ur partner, n since Ur partner's 35% includes his/her Free Will Of Choice, aren U also at the same time, taking away his/her Freedom to Choose?"
So what now? R U still feeling just as helpless despite after reading all tt. I wld, until I hv understood something n I wld like to recommend this to U.
"Do Ur best to dance Ur 35%, n then just Let Go."
Yes do Ur best n let go of the remaining. Besides can U actually ensure tt U perfectly score tt 35% of Urs? Can U reli do tt, r U so perfect? If U cant even do Ur part perfectly well, then do U think U shd meddle with the part of Ur Partner n the part of Affinity? Then y not channel Ur energy n focus on doing Ur 35% to Ur best. N just let Ur Partner hv some free space to play his/her part n let Affinity hv its room to do its magic. Dun get me wrong, I m not telling U to "heck care" abt Ur Partner n abt Affinity, but I telling U to FOCUS on playing Ur part with Ur best n give room to Ur Partner n Affinity to play their parts.
Be fair to Urself, dun overstretch n overburden n exhaust Urself. Be fair to Ur partner, give him/her the floor space which he/she needs to dance.
A Letter abt "Love is 35%,35%,30" "WHAT IS THAT!?" part 1
Yup Love is 35-35-30, now what m I talking abt?
Relax, let me explain ok? :) This is what its all abt, love is just 35% abt U, 35% abt Ur partner n 30% abt Affinity.
35% abt U n 35% abt Ur Partner. Now whats tt all abt? Well I m sure U can figure tt out rite? Yup tts it, both U n Ur partner hv Ur parts to play, it takes 2 to dance, it takes 2 hands to clap. Rite or wrong, for better or worse, both of U all r partly if not fully responsible. N yup in Ur love life, U n Ur partner r suppose to be the lead actor n actress rite, so it is natural tt whatever U all decide, feel or do will hv a huge effect on ya relationship.
30% Affinity. Every1 defines affinity differently, but let me tell U my definition, it may not be the best definition ever, but it is the best tt I can offer as of now. Affinity brings ppl together. It is a strange power, with it ppl who r far apart can be brought together, without it even if ppl r just nx to each other they still remain invisible to each other. Affinity is a playful fella, it mismatches ppl to teach ppl how rare n precious it is to find true n mutual love. N I believe Affinity is divided into 2 kinds, the Affinity to Meet n the Affinity to Be Together, only with both of these 2 together can Affinity considered to be Wholesome. Without either 1, it will be rather tragic. Imagine having the Affinity to meet some1 whom U r reli fond of, but not having the Affinity to Be Together, now wasn tt what Romeo n Juliet abt. But no matter how noti Mr Affinity is, he is still one who plays an impt part in Ur relationship, n all tt mischief tt Mr Affinity was up to was perhaps to teach U lessons n prepare U for Mr/Ms Right.
So now U see the 3 proportions tt Love can be divided into. Now let me tell U the key point of this letter.
"U can only do Ur best for Ur 35%, the rest is up to Ur partner n Mr Affinity."
Relax, let me explain ok? :) This is what its all abt, love is just 35% abt U, 35% abt Ur partner n 30% abt Affinity.
35% abt U n 35% abt Ur Partner. Now whats tt all abt? Well I m sure U can figure tt out rite? Yup tts it, both U n Ur partner hv Ur parts to play, it takes 2 to dance, it takes 2 hands to clap. Rite or wrong, for better or worse, both of U all r partly if not fully responsible. N yup in Ur love life, U n Ur partner r suppose to be the lead actor n actress rite, so it is natural tt whatever U all decide, feel or do will hv a huge effect on ya relationship.
30% Affinity. Every1 defines affinity differently, but let me tell U my definition, it may not be the best definition ever, but it is the best tt I can offer as of now. Affinity brings ppl together. It is a strange power, with it ppl who r far apart can be brought together, without it even if ppl r just nx to each other they still remain invisible to each other. Affinity is a playful fella, it mismatches ppl to teach ppl how rare n precious it is to find true n mutual love. N I believe Affinity is divided into 2 kinds, the Affinity to Meet n the Affinity to Be Together, only with both of these 2 together can Affinity considered to be Wholesome. Without either 1, it will be rather tragic. Imagine having the Affinity to meet some1 whom U r reli fond of, but not having the Affinity to Be Together, now wasn tt what Romeo n Juliet abt. But no matter how noti Mr Affinity is, he is still one who plays an impt part in Ur relationship, n all tt mischief tt Mr Affinity was up to was perhaps to teach U lessons n prepare U for Mr/Ms Right.
So now U see the 3 proportions tt Love can be divided into. Now let me tell U the key point of this letter.
"U can only do Ur best for Ur 35%, the rest is up to Ur partner n Mr Affinity."
Friday, December 22, 2006
A Letter abt how can U talk to some1 U love
"U r not listening!" Familiar line U may hv heard b4 rite? "U dun understand..." now tts another familiar line right? But what is all this abt, U wonder...
How can U trust him/her? Well, I believe tts based on how much U understand him/her. How can U undertand him/her? Well, tts based on how effective U both communicate with each other. So how do U effectively communicate? Brilliant question, n tts what I will talking abt in this entry.
Now Trust cannot be built without Understanding, n Understanding can never happened unless ideas r carry forth to each other clearly, Communicated Effectively.
The main Principle tt guides this effective communication is this
"From my point of view, its reli not abt me, its reli abt U, I wan to noe more n more abt U."
This principle is simply build on love. Isn it true tt when U love some1, U wan to noe more n more abt tt person? So perhaps nx time when U r talking with Ur partner, U may wanna just take note of whether r U asking abt Ur partner more often or simply talking abt Urself more often. N if U keep talking abt Urself, when maybe someday U may just hear this line "U r not listening!" Dun get me wrong, this no threat, this is a proven truth, in all my letters I nv ask of any1 to believe or agree with me, U r the leader of Ur life n U can discern for Urself what to believe n what not to believe :)
To practise this principle, I recommend the following process,
Step 1: Pay full attention
Well U r talking to some1 tt U love rite? Some1 impt to U rite? So ignore Ur mobile, put down Ur newspaper, stop looking at Ur desktop/laptop monitor, stop looking at Ur mirror, n just pay full attention to Ur partner. Tts being there for him/her.
Step 2: Listen
Yup Listen, tts just it, sounds ez rite, well reli how many ppl can do this well. Tts becos when U r listening, U shd reli Stop Talking n just Listen.
Step 3: look at the discussed topic from the partners point of view, then look at it from all possible angles.
This can be hard, but if U find it too difficult to cover all angles as it takes alot of Objectivity n Thoughtfulness, then at least be able to put Urself into his/her shoes n look at things from his/her position.
Step 4: Empathize n Understand
Step 3 reli paves the way to developing empathy. N from there U can Understand how does Ur partner thinks n feels. However, wait wait, U dun stop there n say "I understand, but..." Owww come on, what do U mean when U say tt U understand but n then U start shooting all Ur opinions like a machine gun. Nooo, dun do tt, tts not called real understanding. Tts called using the word "understand" to stop listening n start yapping way. True Understanding shd lead U to nx step.
Step 5: Respect n Accept
Yes, respect Ur partner's opinions n decisions n accept he/her for who she is, but wait, I m not saying tt U must agree. U can disagree, but Ur partner has the equal right to think n act the way he/she wants as long as tt does not take away tt same right of urs. Every1 has their own free will, so we all hv to Respect n Accept tt fact.
Amidst this process, U must seek to discern if Ur partner reli wants a solution from U, or does Ur partner simply just wans some1 to listen to him/her. If he/she reli wans Ur suggestion or solution, he/she will ask U for tt naturally when he/she feels tt he/she has said enough. If he/she jus wans a listener, then let me teach U a trick, tt by going through this process with Ur partner, U r actually helping him/her to Crystallize his/her thoughts n yup sometimes he/she will come out with the answer even without U having to squeeze Ur brain to come out with it. N yup he/she will feel much better after sharing his/her thoughts n feelings.
From this effective communication, U can develop a deep understanding for Ur partner, from which firm trust can be built upon.
Every1 in this world needs an audience, r U willing to be the audience of Ur love ones? (note the contents of this letter does not just merely apply to a love relationship, it also applies to family relationships, frenship n all relationships U treasure in Ur life.)
How can U trust him/her? Well, I believe tts based on how much U understand him/her. How can U undertand him/her? Well, tts based on how effective U both communicate with each other. So how do U effectively communicate? Brilliant question, n tts what I will talking abt in this entry.
Now Trust cannot be built without Understanding, n Understanding can never happened unless ideas r carry forth to each other clearly, Communicated Effectively.
The main Principle tt guides this effective communication is this
"From my point of view, its reli not abt me, its reli abt U, I wan to noe more n more abt U."
This principle is simply build on love. Isn it true tt when U love some1, U wan to noe more n more abt tt person? So perhaps nx time when U r talking with Ur partner, U may wanna just take note of whether r U asking abt Ur partner more often or simply talking abt Urself more often. N if U keep talking abt Urself, when maybe someday U may just hear this line "U r not listening!" Dun get me wrong, this no threat, this is a proven truth, in all my letters I nv ask of any1 to believe or agree with me, U r the leader of Ur life n U can discern for Urself what to believe n what not to believe :)
To practise this principle, I recommend the following process,
Step 1: Pay full attention
Well U r talking to some1 tt U love rite? Some1 impt to U rite? So ignore Ur mobile, put down Ur newspaper, stop looking at Ur desktop/laptop monitor, stop looking at Ur mirror, n just pay full attention to Ur partner. Tts being there for him/her.
Step 2: Listen
Yup Listen, tts just it, sounds ez rite, well reli how many ppl can do this well. Tts becos when U r listening, U shd reli Stop Talking n just Listen.
Step 3: look at the discussed topic from the partners point of view, then look at it from all possible angles.
This can be hard, but if U find it too difficult to cover all angles as it takes alot of Objectivity n Thoughtfulness, then at least be able to put Urself into his/her shoes n look at things from his/her position.
Step 4: Empathize n Understand
Step 3 reli paves the way to developing empathy. N from there U can Understand how does Ur partner thinks n feels. However, wait wait, U dun stop there n say "I understand, but..." Owww come on, what do U mean when U say tt U understand but n then U start shooting all Ur opinions like a machine gun. Nooo, dun do tt, tts not called real understanding. Tts called using the word "understand" to stop listening n start yapping way. True Understanding shd lead U to nx step.
Step 5: Respect n Accept
Yes, respect Ur partner's opinions n decisions n accept he/her for who she is, but wait, I m not saying tt U must agree. U can disagree, but Ur partner has the equal right to think n act the way he/she wants as long as tt does not take away tt same right of urs. Every1 has their own free will, so we all hv to Respect n Accept tt fact.
Amidst this process, U must seek to discern if Ur partner reli wants a solution from U, or does Ur partner simply just wans some1 to listen to him/her. If he/she reli wans Ur suggestion or solution, he/she will ask U for tt naturally when he/she feels tt he/she has said enough. If he/she jus wans a listener, then let me teach U a trick, tt by going through this process with Ur partner, U r actually helping him/her to Crystallize his/her thoughts n yup sometimes he/she will come out with the answer even without U having to squeeze Ur brain to come out with it. N yup he/she will feel much better after sharing his/her thoughts n feelings.
From this effective communication, U can develop a deep understanding for Ur partner, from which firm trust can be built upon.
Every1 in this world needs an audience, r U willing to be the audience of Ur love ones? (note the contents of this letter does not just merely apply to a love relationship, it also applies to family relationships, frenship n all relationships U treasure in Ur life.)
A Letter abt the space tt a couple shd hv.
It is wonderful tt a couple thinks n feels alike n uds each other v well, this is great, this is love, this is affinity. Yet how can any1 agree all the time? Is tt possible? what happens when disagreements appear?
Just cos ppl come 2gether 2 be a couple for however long doesn mean they r joined at the hip n hv to alw think the same, alw do the same, alw feel the same, alw react the same. The reality is tt the most successful relationships r the ones where the couple is strong 2gether but also strong apart. The best relationships are the ones where both r supportive of each other's interest even if they are not their own.
Being supportive of the partner n what he/she wans 2 do means one has to be v steady oneself not to feel jealous or mistrustful or resentful. It is necessary to prepare for the partner to be independent, strong, out in the world separate from one. It can be hard, it can ask alot, it can be a real test of how much one cares n how protective one is.
The more freedom given/tolerated/encouraged shd also mean tt the freedom is also reciprocated. The reason is tt if a person feels tt he/she is encouraged n trusted, he/she is much less likely to stray or want out becos of feeling caged. After all, love is also abt Support n Encouragement.
But what if one disagrees w what the partner wants to do? As long as it isn hurtful to one or in any serious way jeopardizes the relationship, then we must all uds tt every1 is a unque individual entitled to do pretty well at whatever we want to do. This may actually be more abt oneself then the partner, one may need to reli ask oneself what is it abt the partner's decision tt one finds it hard to get along with.
Its a funny thing tt we often fall in love with some1 becos they independent, in control, unique. Then the second we r together with them, we try to change them, coming over all jealous if they carry on their independence as if being in a relationship limits them, ties them, n cuts off their wings.
Well perhaps the solution is actually to be encouraging n supportive even when the partner wants to step outside n rediscover his/her energy n vitality. the partner may need to spend some time rediscovering visions, dream, skills n talents at independence. N U may need to sit on Ur hands at times to avoid reining them in. So encourage, stand back n sit on Ur hands when necessary, close in n support when necessary, n alw be there. The magic is tt the couple spend time apart to bring something back to the relationship tt benifits the relationship. This is healthy, this is gd, this mature.
So this is abt the space between a couple. A hug is v comfortable, but if 2 ppl keep hugging each other so closely, then how can they ever see each others faces, each others eyes? So life is abt Timing, there is a time to close in n encourage n be in v intimate contact, yet there is also a time to step back n smile n be supportive. However, the key point is close up or far back, alw alw be there.
"Love is also abt being ever so in love w each other together, n ever so encouraging n supportive when apart. It is reli abt bulding up each other when together n also when apart."
Cheers my Dearest Frens, I wish U all success n happiness in love.
Just cos ppl come 2gether 2 be a couple for however long doesn mean they r joined at the hip n hv to alw think the same, alw do the same, alw feel the same, alw react the same. The reality is tt the most successful relationships r the ones where the couple is strong 2gether but also strong apart. The best relationships are the ones where both r supportive of each other's interest even if they are not their own.
Being supportive of the partner n what he/she wans 2 do means one has to be v steady oneself not to feel jealous or mistrustful or resentful. It is necessary to prepare for the partner to be independent, strong, out in the world separate from one. It can be hard, it can ask alot, it can be a real test of how much one cares n how protective one is.
The more freedom given/tolerated/encouraged shd also mean tt the freedom is also reciprocated. The reason is tt if a person feels tt he/she is encouraged n trusted, he/she is much less likely to stray or want out becos of feeling caged. After all, love is also abt Support n Encouragement.
But what if one disagrees w what the partner wants to do? As long as it isn hurtful to one or in any serious way jeopardizes the relationship, then we must all uds tt every1 is a unque individual entitled to do pretty well at whatever we want to do. This may actually be more abt oneself then the partner, one may need to reli ask oneself what is it abt the partner's decision tt one finds it hard to get along with.
Its a funny thing tt we often fall in love with some1 becos they independent, in control, unique. Then the second we r together with them, we try to change them, coming over all jealous if they carry on their independence as if being in a relationship limits them, ties them, n cuts off their wings.
Well perhaps the solution is actually to be encouraging n supportive even when the partner wants to step outside n rediscover his/her energy n vitality. the partner may need to spend some time rediscovering visions, dream, skills n talents at independence. N U may need to sit on Ur hands at times to avoid reining them in. So encourage, stand back n sit on Ur hands when necessary, close in n support when necessary, n alw be there. The magic is tt the couple spend time apart to bring something back to the relationship tt benifits the relationship. This is healthy, this is gd, this mature.
So this is abt the space between a couple. A hug is v comfortable, but if 2 ppl keep hugging each other so closely, then how can they ever see each others faces, each others eyes? So life is abt Timing, there is a time to close in n encourage n be in v intimate contact, yet there is also a time to step back n smile n be supportive. However, the key point is close up or far back, alw alw be there.
"Love is also abt being ever so in love w each other together, n ever so encouraging n supportive when apart. It is reli abt bulding up each other when together n also when apart."
Cheers my Dearest Frens, I wish U all success n happiness in love.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
A Letter abt Wealth n Poverty, what r they reli all abt.
Wealth n poverty, rich n poor. What r they reli all abt? Alot of ppl believe tt they r simply just how much money a person currently holds. Now is tt reli true?
Money is a strange thing, it shd be n always proves itself to simply just be a tool tt helps its owner realize some of his/her dreams. Money is also a v fair thing, it will love n stay with those who seeks it n manages it well, but it will also hate n leaves those who doesn appreciate it or wastes it.
Can U see what I m trying to say? I m just trying to tell U this, "wealth or poverty is actually a matter of Ur mindset." So when they say "the rich gets richer n the poor gets poorer", it is not just abt the money, it is also actually an issue of the ppl's mindset.
If U hv a poverty mindset, believing U r poor n will stay just like tt for the rest of Ur life, unbelieving tt U can be rich, then will U do anything to seek for riches?
If U hv a wealthy mindset, even if U start out poor, with a well-planned roadmap to seek after wealth, with determined n appropriate implementations of the plan, will it still be impossible to attain wealth?
One of the good books tt teaches abt financial management which I must reli recommend is the "Secret of Self Made Millionaires" by Adam Khoo. N in this book, Adam Khoo writes abt the 7 Steps to Financial Abundance, they r
1. Adopt the Million Dollar Mindset
2. Set Clear Financial Goals
3. Create a Financial Plan
4. Massively Increase Ur Income
5. Manage Ur money & reduce expenses
6. Grow Ur money at millionaire returns
7. Protect Ur Fortune
I will not seek to elaborate on this 7 steps, if U wish to find out more, I urge U to read this book by Adam Khoo (an entrepreneur who became a self made millionaire by the age of 26)
However, let us take a look at the 1st step "Adopt the Million Dollar Mindset", now do U see it, I am not the only 1 who believes tt "wealth or poverty is actually a matter of Ur mindset", even the wealthy entrepreneur who has proven himself to be successful also believes in this. The Wealthy Mindset is the beginning to living a life of prosperity.
I perceive wealth to be generated by 5 pillars
1. Earnings
The money tt U earn from Ur job or Ur business, Ur salary, Ur Commission, Ur allowance, Ur business's profit margin n inventory turnover.
2. Savings
Taking away Ur expenses n stuff, the money tt U can put into the bank to save.
3. Investing
Part of Ur savings tt U can use for Growth depending on Ur risk appetite
4. Protecting
Obviously the act of protecting Ur wealth from potential creditors, taxes n so on.
Hopefully these 5 pillars n my recommendation of the book will help U adopt a wealthy mindset and kickstart a life of prosperity.
I m v much into investing, n I wish now to dispel a myth abt investing. Ppl believe tt investing is for the rich, U need alot of capital to start n it is risky. Yes it is risky, but hello even crossing the road is risky isn it, n yet every1 does it. Yes, it needs capital, indeed great capital is needed to see fast rewards, but if u wan to start investing n compounding long term returns, even $100 a month is enough. ETF n Unit Trusts (Mutual Funds) invest in a basket of companies thereby providing Diversification to protect investors from Focus Risk. Did U noe tt with a affordable sum of money like ard $100 a mth put into a RSP(regular savings plan) of a fund n U can alredi start investing (of cos, U need to learn how to 1st find the right fund to invest in, Hello U still hv to do Ur homework, remember money comes to those who seeks it.)
U ask me abt shares. Well I can say tt shares need more effort n r riskier, but can reli generate greater returns, but to kick start U into investing I would recommend Mutual Funds n ETF. I would even speculate tt perhaps 10 yrs down the rd if the economy stays gd, n as more n more ppl r drawn into the world of investing, ETFs could possibly be the near future.
But tt doesn reli matter now, what reli matters is tt I urge U to start adopting a Wealthy Mindset.
To conclude let me say this, though money loves those who seeks it n manages it well, though it helps ppl realize some of their dreams, I urge U not to fall in love with money ever (the love for money is the root of all evil). Remember money is n shd only be a tool tts all. There r many things in this world much more precious than money n tt money cannot buy. Living a balance life is the key, do not love or hate money, it is just a tool n it shd just be treated as a tool.
Money is a strange thing, it shd be n always proves itself to simply just be a tool tt helps its owner realize some of his/her dreams. Money is also a v fair thing, it will love n stay with those who seeks it n manages it well, but it will also hate n leaves those who doesn appreciate it or wastes it.
Can U see what I m trying to say? I m just trying to tell U this, "wealth or poverty is actually a matter of Ur mindset." So when they say "the rich gets richer n the poor gets poorer", it is not just abt the money, it is also actually an issue of the ppl's mindset.
If U hv a poverty mindset, believing U r poor n will stay just like tt for the rest of Ur life, unbelieving tt U can be rich, then will U do anything to seek for riches?
If U hv a wealthy mindset, even if U start out poor, with a well-planned roadmap to seek after wealth, with determined n appropriate implementations of the plan, will it still be impossible to attain wealth?
One of the good books tt teaches abt financial management which I must reli recommend is the "Secret of Self Made Millionaires" by Adam Khoo. N in this book, Adam Khoo writes abt the 7 Steps to Financial Abundance, they r
1. Adopt the Million Dollar Mindset
2. Set Clear Financial Goals
3. Create a Financial Plan
4. Massively Increase Ur Income
5. Manage Ur money & reduce expenses
6. Grow Ur money at millionaire returns
7. Protect Ur Fortune
I will not seek to elaborate on this 7 steps, if U wish to find out more, I urge U to read this book by Adam Khoo (an entrepreneur who became a self made millionaire by the age of 26)
However, let us take a look at the 1st step "Adopt the Million Dollar Mindset", now do U see it, I am not the only 1 who believes tt "wealth or poverty is actually a matter of Ur mindset", even the wealthy entrepreneur who has proven himself to be successful also believes in this. The Wealthy Mindset is the beginning to living a life of prosperity.
I perceive wealth to be generated by 5 pillars
1. Earnings
The money tt U earn from Ur job or Ur business, Ur salary, Ur Commission, Ur allowance, Ur business's profit margin n inventory turnover.
2. Savings
Taking away Ur expenses n stuff, the money tt U can put into the bank to save.
3. Investing
Part of Ur savings tt U can use for Growth depending on Ur risk appetite
4. Protecting
Obviously the act of protecting Ur wealth from potential creditors, taxes n so on.
Hopefully these 5 pillars n my recommendation of the book will help U adopt a wealthy mindset and kickstart a life of prosperity.
I m v much into investing, n I wish now to dispel a myth abt investing. Ppl believe tt investing is for the rich, U need alot of capital to start n it is risky. Yes it is risky, but hello even crossing the road is risky isn it, n yet every1 does it. Yes, it needs capital, indeed great capital is needed to see fast rewards, but if u wan to start investing n compounding long term returns, even $100 a month is enough. ETF n Unit Trusts (Mutual Funds) invest in a basket of companies thereby providing Diversification to protect investors from Focus Risk. Did U noe tt with a affordable sum of money like ard $100 a mth put into a RSP(regular savings plan) of a fund n U can alredi start investing (of cos, U need to learn how to 1st find the right fund to invest in, Hello U still hv to do Ur homework, remember money comes to those who seeks it.)
U ask me abt shares. Well I can say tt shares need more effort n r riskier, but can reli generate greater returns, but to kick start U into investing I would recommend Mutual Funds n ETF. I would even speculate tt perhaps 10 yrs down the rd if the economy stays gd, n as more n more ppl r drawn into the world of investing, ETFs could possibly be the near future.
But tt doesn reli matter now, what reli matters is tt I urge U to start adopting a Wealthy Mindset.
To conclude let me say this, though money loves those who seeks it n manages it well, though it helps ppl realize some of their dreams, I urge U not to fall in love with money ever (the love for money is the root of all evil). Remember money is n shd only be a tool tts all. There r many things in this world much more precious than money n tt money cannot buy. Living a balance life is the key, do not love or hate money, it is just a tool n it shd just be treated as a tool.
A Letter abt Passion n Understanding
I wonder if U hv ever experienced this. One fine day in Ur life, Affinity presents to U a sudden opportunity to be with a supposedly Mr/Ms Right, then U both click together, start to date v often, n in Ur hearts U both desire to be with each other even more, its like Ur hearts r set aflame with a seemingly Unstoppable and Undeniable flame of Passion, emotions build up endlessly n room for reason lessens n lessens, things raced n all looks like a fairytale come true, U 2 become the happiest person in the world n before long U r holding each other's hands, cuddling n hv become what is known as a Couple. U wish this will last forever, U believe tt this is it, U found the love of Ur lifetime. Congratulations.
But as time goes by, U start to realize tt theres something more to tt partner tt Affinity brought to U, he/she seems to spend lesser time with U, the honey sweet words lessen, Ur talktime with each other lessens n U all talk less frequently to each other, the fire starts to fade, the passion seems to diminish, n all of sudden U wonder who is this person holding Ur hand, did U ever reli noe this person. N all of sudden U ask where did the love go, will it ever return, or will it fade away more n more into nothingness, U doubt tt U can sustain tt relationship, U doubt tt he/she will still be able to accept U, uncertainty n fear sets in, n the world suddenly becomes so cold n dark n U r lost in tt darkness feeling meaningless, losing purpose, losing direction, losing what U once upon a time called "Love".
(This may not exactly apply to every1, but more or less it is somehow close to what I believe many ppl r feeling. But if it doesn apply to U at all, then U may just read something else, or U may just wish to take this as leisure reading, its all up to U.)
What happened? Why... Why? Wasn he/she the one? How did the love end up like this way? Its so unfair. U only wanted to love n be loved, whats wrong with tt. All these words run through Ur mind as Ur sorrow n dissappointment compounds n compounds til they roll down Ur cheeks as tears. N yet despite all tt great emotions, U still cannot tell what reli happened.
I reli wish I can give U an answer, but I reli cant. Cos Ur problem is specific to U only. Yet there r only 2 key questions I can ask U, n I urge U to carefully n thoughtfully consider Ur answer.
What is Love to U? Did U reli reli ever love him/her?
Do U noe who U fell in love with? Do U reli understand him/her?
Mr Love is in 1 way like the Mr Market (introduced by Benjamin Graham in the Investing world, but as this letter is abt relationships, I shall not elaborate on Mr Market), Mr Love is erractic n unpredictable n irrational in the Short Term, having the tendency to "mispriced" the value of a relationship (probably quoting a value v much higher or v much lower than the relationship's actual potential). However, Mr Love is actually a v rational character in the long term, the relationship's value will consequently tend towards its actual potential (seemingly dull ppl suddenly become recognized for the how safe they can be, seemingly ordinary couples become capable of sustaining a lasting relationship, seemingly "Star" couples suddenly break up)
I wld choose this concept to explain y relationships can start out as large flames, but then later turns to become calm waters, n may even turn into frozen icebergs when not properly handled. Another way I wld like to describe this is tt when efforts r not put into turning a dream relationship into a real love relationship, then eventually the dream ends n a reality of losing tt dream sets in.
Then U ask, what is the reality? I may not hv the best answer, but the best of my answers tt I can give is "Passion will eventually fade n weakened, but in the end of the day, it is understanding n commitment tt stands the test of time."
The ultimate principle I like to share in this article is this, tt "it is better to hv real mutual understanding than to hv mutual passion for each other alone."
The key question I must raise is simply related how deep is Ur understanding of Ur partner n how deep is Ur partner's understanding for U, then after tt how r U n Ur partner's acceptance for each other.
Ur love with Ur partner has to include a Deep Understanding tt is powerful enough to naturally bring abt Mutual Trust.
This Love also requires an Initiative of Commitment, if passion is the fire, then commitment is the firewood, how can U keep the flames burning if U do not add in more firewood.
Of cos, U can argue tt yes U can understand each other today, but what if in future both of U change. Yes I agree. But let me ask U back in return, what is the future made of? If U cherish every "Present", aren U working towards building a greater future?
U may say easier said then done, yes I agree. Nothing in this world is reli easy to accomplish, "For every Prestige tt results from a Turn, requires a pledge." Every feat accomplished in this world needs a price to be paid. The Pledge or the price U hv to pay for Ur relationship is Commitment. Without this Pledge, it is almost impossible for any Magic to come out of tt relationship.
I do not propose tt Firm Trust Resulting From Deep Mutual Understanding and Commitment are the elements tt form the Holy Grail to solve all Ur relationship problems, but I m emphasizing tt they r necessary.
Indeed U hv alredi noe all these, these is nothing new. But nx time when U think U understand Ur partner, how abt asking Urself if U r able to trust Ur partner as a result of this understanding, and is the understanding mutual?
The nx time when U feel tt the fires of Ur love is fading away, how abt checking with Urself if U hv been adding firewood (commitment).
But as time goes by, U start to realize tt theres something more to tt partner tt Affinity brought to U, he/she seems to spend lesser time with U, the honey sweet words lessen, Ur talktime with each other lessens n U all talk less frequently to each other, the fire starts to fade, the passion seems to diminish, n all of sudden U wonder who is this person holding Ur hand, did U ever reli noe this person. N all of sudden U ask where did the love go, will it ever return, or will it fade away more n more into nothingness, U doubt tt U can sustain tt relationship, U doubt tt he/she will still be able to accept U, uncertainty n fear sets in, n the world suddenly becomes so cold n dark n U r lost in tt darkness feeling meaningless, losing purpose, losing direction, losing what U once upon a time called "Love".
(This may not exactly apply to every1, but more or less it is somehow close to what I believe many ppl r feeling. But if it doesn apply to U at all, then U may just read something else, or U may just wish to take this as leisure reading, its all up to U.)
What happened? Why... Why? Wasn he/she the one? How did the love end up like this way? Its so unfair. U only wanted to love n be loved, whats wrong with tt. All these words run through Ur mind as Ur sorrow n dissappointment compounds n compounds til they roll down Ur cheeks as tears. N yet despite all tt great emotions, U still cannot tell what reli happened.
I reli wish I can give U an answer, but I reli cant. Cos Ur problem is specific to U only. Yet there r only 2 key questions I can ask U, n I urge U to carefully n thoughtfully consider Ur answer.
What is Love to U? Did U reli reli ever love him/her?
Do U noe who U fell in love with? Do U reli understand him/her?
Mr Love is in 1 way like the Mr Market (introduced by Benjamin Graham in the Investing world, but as this letter is abt relationships, I shall not elaborate on Mr Market), Mr Love is erractic n unpredictable n irrational in the Short Term, having the tendency to "mispriced" the value of a relationship (probably quoting a value v much higher or v much lower than the relationship's actual potential). However, Mr Love is actually a v rational character in the long term, the relationship's value will consequently tend towards its actual potential (seemingly dull ppl suddenly become recognized for the how safe they can be, seemingly ordinary couples become capable of sustaining a lasting relationship, seemingly "Star" couples suddenly break up)
I wld choose this concept to explain y relationships can start out as large flames, but then later turns to become calm waters, n may even turn into frozen icebergs when not properly handled. Another way I wld like to describe this is tt when efforts r not put into turning a dream relationship into a real love relationship, then eventually the dream ends n a reality of losing tt dream sets in.
Then U ask, what is the reality? I may not hv the best answer, but the best of my answers tt I can give is "Passion will eventually fade n weakened, but in the end of the day, it is understanding n commitment tt stands the test of time."
The ultimate principle I like to share in this article is this, tt "it is better to hv real mutual understanding than to hv mutual passion for each other alone."
The key question I must raise is simply related how deep is Ur understanding of Ur partner n how deep is Ur partner's understanding for U, then after tt how r U n Ur partner's acceptance for each other.
Ur love with Ur partner has to include a Deep Understanding tt is powerful enough to naturally bring abt Mutual Trust.
This Love also requires an Initiative of Commitment, if passion is the fire, then commitment is the firewood, how can U keep the flames burning if U do not add in more firewood.
Of cos, U can argue tt yes U can understand each other today, but what if in future both of U change. Yes I agree. But let me ask U back in return, what is the future made of? If U cherish every "Present", aren U working towards building a greater future?
U may say easier said then done, yes I agree. Nothing in this world is reli easy to accomplish, "For every Prestige tt results from a Turn, requires a pledge." Every feat accomplished in this world needs a price to be paid. The Pledge or the price U hv to pay for Ur relationship is Commitment. Without this Pledge, it is almost impossible for any Magic to come out of tt relationship.
I do not propose tt Firm Trust Resulting From Deep Mutual Understanding and Commitment are the elements tt form the Holy Grail to solve all Ur relationship problems, but I m emphasizing tt they r necessary.
Indeed U hv alredi noe all these, these is nothing new. But nx time when U think U understand Ur partner, how abt asking Urself if U r able to trust Ur partner as a result of this understanding, and is the understanding mutual?
The nx time when U feel tt the fires of Ur love is fading away, how abt checking with Urself if U hv been adding firewood (commitment).
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
The Letter on Love and Acceptance and the Coin with 2 sides
What I m abt to share with U is related love and acceptance between a couple. I do not seek to give U any answers, in fact U may even find me asking U more questions, but hopefully these questions can lead U to find Ur own answers.
"The coin has 2 sides, Head n Tail. So if one cuts the coin into half, then can it be still truly considered as a coin, n what then will be its value?" Lets picture a scenario with the person accepting the coin and the coin itself, then visualise tt this can represent a couple. Then now lets look from the perspective of the person accepting the coin.
As I hv said "the coin has 2 sides". So now lets say U got a partner who is always pleasing everyone, then what is his/her other side? He/she is either pleasing every1 at the expense of himself/herself or he/she is just pretending.
So now lets say U got a some1 who is honest n direct, then what is his/her other side? Cant sugercoat his/her words, not diplomatic, blunt.
So lets say if U found this super sweet guy/gal who spends so much time doing sweet things for ya, then what is the other side? Now think abt it, do U reli think he/she has much time to spend on establishing his/her career?
So now lets say if U r attracted to this guy/gal who is reli excellent in pursuing his/her career, then what is the other side? Higher priority on career then U.
Then now U comment tt the partner shd balance. Ok now lets see how abt a guy/gal who is 50-50 balance, is he reli tt gd? Well, life is real and there will always be situations that will compel ppl to make decisions and priorities. So when tt happens, what is the 50-50 guy/gal gonna tell ya, "Hello I m 50-50, cannot decide la. Half half can?" So perhaps the word balance in this case does not reli means 50-50, then how abt 70-30? Gd balance, has priorities yet leaves some room. But 70-30 leh, tt means when the situation calls for him/her to choose, he/she will be on the side on the 70 at the expense of the 30. Tt means he/she is inclined to taking a side. Now it doesn sound all tt perfect rite? He/she is still the coin which is in fact the combination of the potential positive effects n negative effects of his/her tendency, his/her inclination.
Maybe for the person deciding accept the coin, he/she shd consider the coin's both sides and if that person decides to accept tt coin, he/she shd be prepared n will readily accept the consequences of the decision with strong resolve.
Then now lets look from the perspective of the coin. Think abt this, is it true tt every1 in this world wans to be love for who they reli r, n not just for their strengths only? No1 is perfect, n tt means to love some1 for who tt person wholly is, is to also accept tt imperfection. Nevertheless, we all just wish tt someday we can find some1 who loves us for just who we r. If the coin can feel, it too would wan to be accepted for its head n its tail, cos without either 1, it will hv no value at all, a half coin cannot be used to trade rite? Maybe for the coin, he/she shd just be v transparent of who he/she reli is in the 1st place.
Maybe he/she shd be very honest with him/herself n the other person, n shd not even start tt relationship at all when the conditions do not match. Then when accepted, shd do his/her best in commiting to tt relationship to uphold the value of tt relationship n not regretting it.
In reality in a relationship, one is both the person n the coin. Every1 wans to find a coin of gd value, n every1 wans to be love for just who they r. N when one has a more holistic picture of this,U may understand tt yeah both must give n take for it to be fair. This entry may sound abit confusing, n may ask U for some reflections, but as U patiently read through it, I wish it will serve to remind U of some basic things tt may just slipped pass Ur mind. N I wish to conclude by wishing U all the very best in ur quest for happiness. Cheers :)
"The coin has 2 sides, Head n Tail. So if one cuts the coin into half, then can it be still truly considered as a coin, n what then will be its value?" Lets picture a scenario with the person accepting the coin and the coin itself, then visualise tt this can represent a couple. Then now lets look from the perspective of the person accepting the coin.
As I hv said "the coin has 2 sides". So now lets say U got a partner who is always pleasing everyone, then what is his/her other side? He/she is either pleasing every1 at the expense of himself/herself or he/she is just pretending.
So now lets say U got a some1 who is honest n direct, then what is his/her other side? Cant sugercoat his/her words, not diplomatic, blunt.
So lets say if U found this super sweet guy/gal who spends so much time doing sweet things for ya, then what is the other side? Now think abt it, do U reli think he/she has much time to spend on establishing his/her career?
So now lets say if U r attracted to this guy/gal who is reli excellent in pursuing his/her career, then what is the other side? Higher priority on career then U.
Then now U comment tt the partner shd balance. Ok now lets see how abt a guy/gal who is 50-50 balance, is he reli tt gd? Well, life is real and there will always be situations that will compel ppl to make decisions and priorities. So when tt happens, what is the 50-50 guy/gal gonna tell ya, "Hello I m 50-50, cannot decide la. Half half can?" So perhaps the word balance in this case does not reli means 50-50, then how abt 70-30? Gd balance, has priorities yet leaves some room. But 70-30 leh, tt means when the situation calls for him/her to choose, he/she will be on the side on the 70 at the expense of the 30. Tt means he/she is inclined to taking a side. Now it doesn sound all tt perfect rite? He/she is still the coin which is in fact the combination of the potential positive effects n negative effects of his/her tendency, his/her inclination.
Maybe for the person deciding accept the coin, he/she shd consider the coin's both sides and if that person decides to accept tt coin, he/she shd be prepared n will readily accept the consequences of the decision with strong resolve.
Then now lets look from the perspective of the coin. Think abt this, is it true tt every1 in this world wans to be love for who they reli r, n not just for their strengths only? No1 is perfect, n tt means to love some1 for who tt person wholly is, is to also accept tt imperfection. Nevertheless, we all just wish tt someday we can find some1 who loves us for just who we r. If the coin can feel, it too would wan to be accepted for its head n its tail, cos without either 1, it will hv no value at all, a half coin cannot be used to trade rite? Maybe for the coin, he/she shd just be v transparent of who he/she reli is in the 1st place.
Maybe he/she shd be very honest with him/herself n the other person, n shd not even start tt relationship at all when the conditions do not match. Then when accepted, shd do his/her best in commiting to tt relationship to uphold the value of tt relationship n not regretting it.
In reality in a relationship, one is both the person n the coin. Every1 wans to find a coin of gd value, n every1 wans to be love for just who they r. N when one has a more holistic picture of this,U may understand tt yeah both must give n take for it to be fair. This entry may sound abit confusing, n may ask U for some reflections, but as U patiently read through it, I wish it will serve to remind U of some basic things tt may just slipped pass Ur mind. N I wish to conclude by wishing U all the very best in ur quest for happiness. Cheers :)
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